Friday, August 14, 2009

Oh Hey, Eagles, What's going onnNNOOOOOOOOO!!!


It's funny writing this article the day after Dilz's post about Vick because I'm of the same opinion that he should be, if not forgiven, at least allowed. I mean, if he's served the court's sentence, stopped doing terrible things, and starts serving the community since he knows he'll be crucified if he doesn't, what else can we ask of him? Unless he's going to prison forever, it's sorta dumb to not let him play football. Because that only leaves dog fighting as a vocation, and then we're just back where we started.

So I'm all for him being readmitted into the NFL. And I think the Eagles are big dumb morons for signing him.

Eagles, have you paid any attention to your quarterback environment over the last several seasons? Donnovan McNabb, one of the better QBs in the last decade, has been booed and jeered because he gets injured too much on account of playing really hard. He doesn't harm animals during his injury time and he's really good when he plays. He had a great finish to last season, getting his team into the playoffs and a game away from the Superbowl. He was rewarded with a nice contract extension, a sign that the organization recognized his work and wanted him to lead them forward. The Eagles had their longest controversy-free stretch in a few years, and then they signed an outlaw who plays the same position as McNabb.

How is this going to work? The fans will hate it, because Eagles fans love to hate things. McNabb will stand by Vick, because he's an admirable guy who knows that anyone and everyone is a better teammate than TO, and then Philadelphia will turn on him ex post facto as an accomplice to dog fighting. The city already half-hates coach Andy Reid, but he's such a boring guy that it's sort of a waste of time to dislike him. They can't hate Westbrook because he's too good, so it all falls almost exclusively on the quarterback, now quarterbacks. And when you've got PETA people and Eagle fans hating you, you've got no one.

From strictly a football standpoint, I like the move. McNabb, Vick and Westbrook make a terrifying backfield that would be nimble with two good arms. Defenses would try to prepare for a Wildcat type thing, but it would be such a QB-heavy version and the Eagles have such a solid group of receivers that the options would be sky high. Vick doesn't have to step in and be the leader, he gets to be a role player under less pressure (in theory) and less scrutinized (ha), and the team adds a weapon that had his ego killed in prison.

But, no, none of that matters, because it's just going to be a negative media circus fueled by fans that are excited to have a new grudge. Not a game will be televised without shots of the "Dogs are People, Too" and "Send Vick to the Pound" and "We'd Rather have Stallworth" posters that everyone will bring. Then angry Eagles fans will go home and pet their dogs and beat their wives and remember the good old days when mild-mannered Ron Jaworski was at the helm. It's not like Vick would have it easy with another team, but I really think Philly is a bottom five choice, just above Cleveland (the Dog Pound? No sir.) and the Vikings (instead of Favre you got this?). If he had gone to the Cowboys or the Raiders he would have been model citizen. Not just for the hoodlum players on both of those teams but for their deviant fan bases as well. Raider fans are dangerous people and you should call the authorities if you see one.

Vick's second chance sucks. It's probably how it should be, to really hammer home that he did something wrong. Philadelphia folks will make sure he's aware of that. I just hope they also notice when he completes his 40 trillion hours of community service and donates a third of what he makes to the humane society. But some lunatic will probably flood his house with ferocious pit bulls before Vick even takes a snap. Then, having nothing to do with all these pit bulls, the guy will start a dog fighting ring. He'll be conflicted but also addicted to the thrill. When he finally sees the terrible circle his life has completed, he'll rile up the pit bulls and turn them on himself. And that's the premise for my screenplay.

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